Posted on August 5th, 2025

If you’ve ever found yourself awake at 2:13 a.m. wondering if you remembered to track your ovulation, confirm your appointment, order the meds, or pee in the cup before brushing your teeth—this post is for you.

Fertility isn’t just bloodwork, injections, and ultrasounds. It’s the invisible work: the mental tabs open in your brain 24/7. The emotional labor. The unrelenting worry.

So, what is the mental load of fertility?

It’s what no one talks about enough.

It’s the constant scheduling, researching, prepping, coordinating, and double-checking.

It’s trying to:

• Decode your own lab results before your doctor calls
• Track ovulation while pretending to care about a work Zoom call
• Keep your relationship strong when neither of you can remember the last time you weren’t stressed
• Stay emotionally regulated after another “just relax” comment
• Pretend you’re fine when you're absolutely not

If you’re a parent already? That load is even heavier. You’re running a household while quietly carrying the burden of trying to grow your family behind the scenes.

It’s not in your head.
It’s on your heart, your calendar, your body—and your mind.

You’re not failing. You’re overloaded.

This isn’t about whether you’re “strong enough” or “organized enough.” It’s about how much we’re expected to hold in silence. The pressure to be hopeful and grateful and patient… All while navigating an emotional obstacle course with very few guideposts.

So if you’ve been beating yourself up because you feel behind, overwhelmed, or just straight-up tired?

Stop.

You are not lazy. You are not ungrateful. You’re carrying a load that most people can’t see—and you’re doing it with grace.

4 Tools to Lighten the Load (a little)

You can’t make it all go away, but you can make it more manageable. These are some tools I offer my 1:1 coaching clients—and use myself:

📝 1. Mind Dumping:
Every night, give your brain a break. Write out everything swirling in your head. Don’t organize it. Just release it.

🏅 2. Micro Wins:
Celebrate the smallest victories. “I called the clinic.” “I took my vitamins.” “I didn’t cry during that appointment.” These matter.

🙅‍♀️ 3. Your ‘No’ List:
You don’t owe anyone an explanation. Say no to the baby shower, the group text, or the unsolicited advice. Protect your energy.

🤝 4. Co-Regulation:
Find your safe person. Someone who listens without fixing. Whether that’s a partner, coach, therapist, or best friend—you deserve support that holds space for you.

👉 Want personalized support through this process? Click here to learn more about 1:1 fertility coaching with me.

You don’t have to do it alone.

If reading this gave you even one breath of relief—please know you are not alone. So many of us are carrying this invisible weight. And there’s no shame in asking for help.

🎧 *You can also listen to this post as a podcast episode:
“The Mental Load of Fertility: It’s Not Just in Your Head” → Listen now

💛 *And if you’re just getting started on your TTC journey, I made this free checklist to help you feel a little more in control:
Download the FREE TTC Checklist 

You’re not crazy. You’re just carrying more than most people realize.
And you’re doing it with so much strength.

You’ve got this. And I’ve got you.